Monday, May 14, 2007

Graduation 2007

My baby is graduating. And the heaviness that weighs inside is almost unbearable. How did my teen become an adult overnight? The flurry of end-of-school year events is helping to distract me from my agony. Yes, I am in agony. This day just seemed so far away, and now it's here.

The baby came on a cold rainy day... one of the rainiest days ever. I always looked at that as being a sort of cleansing. A purifying of the world before the baby arrived. Those days seem so far away, now. The diapers, the breast feeding, the sleepless nights. I remember I felt as if the non-stop baby routine would never end. And now, it just seems like a small blip in all of our family life.

All the family trips that we took were just not enough. The road trips, the rafting trips in California, Idaho, Oregon... it was just not enough. And the thought that we may never get together as a family again for any vacation trip really gets to me. I could just cry.

College beckons now for my adult student teen. Already, my teen is a busy college student; taking care of paperwork, getting classes together, meeting with counselors, getting ready for the open house. Going away will be hard on all of us. We've purchased all the sundries to accommodate the new living quarters, and we've probably bought way too much. My teen doesn't seem to understand how difficult this is for us. And they shouldn't feel our sadness. I don't want to rain on their blossoming heads.

The confidence and independence that we had hoped to instill is reflected in their almost cavalier attitude of leaving home. This is how it should be. My teen is ready for adulthood, and as far as mom and dad? We're the ones who aren't ready.

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